Snow-white and the Seven DwarvesTranscribed from the original gothic script by Robert Smith Scene 1 inside the Queen's palace | |
| Narrator | Children, we have come to tell
A story you know very well. About a girl, not very bright But beautiful, she's called Snow-white (enter Snow-white) She had a step-mum, who was queen (enter Queen) And the nastiest bit of work you've seen She gave poor snowy an awful time People said it was a crime The way she treated young Snow-White She made her work all day and night Polishing this and sweeping that Take the dog out, feed the cat. (exit Snow-white) The Queen was also very proud And every day she'd ask out loud… |
| Queen | Oh mirror mirror on the wall
Who is the fairest of them all? |
| Narrator | Now, this might make your knees go weak -
The mirror was magic - it could speak!! |
| Mirror | Your Royal Highness, it's my duty
To say that you're the greatest beauty |
| Narrator | So this went on, week in, week out
And there was never any doubt Until one day, at seven o'clock The Queen received a nasty shock |
| Queen | Oh mirror mirror on the wall Who is the fairest of them all? |
| Mirror | Famed is thy beauty majesty
But behold a lovely maid I see Alas she is more fair than thee She has sharp bristles upon her chin And under that wig she's going thin A more manly figure I've never seen I've been assured she's not a queen |
| Narrator | She couldn't believe what she'd just heard
She nearly choked on every word. |
| Queen | That little brat, it cannot be
Snow-white is never prettier than me! |
| Narrator | But it was true, the mirror had spoken
And Queenie's heart was almost broken |
| Queen | What shall I do? What can be done?
I'm used to being number one I've got to act and do it quick Miss Snow-white, frankly, makes me sick There's only room for one star here So Snow-white's got to disappear. |
| Narrator | And soon a plot formed in her head
A plan to make poor Snow-white dead |
| Queen | I'll have the deed done in the wood
Then she'll be out the way for good. |
| Narrator | Not only was the Queen a witch
As you can see, she was also a really unpleasant person |
| Queen | I'll get my huntsman, he's the man
To carry out my clever plan (enter huntsman) |
| Huntsman | You called Ma'am, do you have a need
For me to got out at great speed And bring you back a hare or pheasant Or is it something far less pleasant? |
| Queen | I have a special job today
I want young Snow-white taken away Find a quiet spot somewhere And finish her off - how - I don't care Now, here's the really grisly part You must bring me back her heart. Then I will know that she is dead And I'll be top of the pops instead |
| Huntsman | Rely on me, it shall be done
Although it doesn't sound much fun. (exit Queen and Huntsman) (enter Captain Hook) |
| Captain Hook | Hello children, I'm Captain Hook, and I'm looking for a nasty little vermin called Peter Pan. I've heard you're putting on a play about him - so where is he? |
| Narrator | I'm sorry sir, you're in the wrong show
Have we seen Peter Pan? - the answer's no! |
| Captain Hook | Why are you talking funny in rhyme like that? Now don't mess me about, I know he's hiding here somewhere - I can smell 'im. If you don't tell, I'll rip you limb from limb |
| Narrator | I want to keep hold of every limb
I tell you sir, we haven't got him |
| Captain Hook | Well if you won't tell me, maybe they will (points to audience) Where's Peter Pan? He's here isn't he? |
| Audience | Oh no he isn't |
| Captain Hook | Oh yes he is (about three times) Well I'm going to find him, and when I find out you've been lying, I'll come back and I'll have you for my breakfast (exit Captain Hook to loud boos) |